Posted in parenting

Staying Home

I am going to go just a wee bit off topic here for a minute and say I feel like there is a huge rift right now between mothers who want to work and mothers who want to stay home. Not only is there a rift but it seems online and in magazines (and wherever else people can anonymously express their opinions) women are being completely unsupportive of the other’s side. I personally have gotten some slack because I want to work. Now clearly I am running a blog about educating your children. I spend a lot of time with my daughter and we make the most of that time together. However, my fiancé and I are not in a situation where I CAN stay home all the time.

I am fortunate enough that ever since my daughter was born I have been able to work part-time. Granted when she was first born I was still in graduate school but that’s not the point. I also am a writer (hence the blog) and that can be done from home which is convenient but not super lucrative.

I currently have two part time jobs. One is teaching three days a week, all day. I have a wonderful babysitter for two of those days and my mother for the other one. The other job I can make the schedule usually. I go in at night a lot to not have to worry about sitters but it’s only a day or two a week. Now, this second job is about to end (it was only temporary). I have started looking for another to supplement income and I have been given quite the hard time by several people.

I have read many blogs about “How to live with little income” “My life without cable” “Grocery shopping for six under $200 a week”. I get it. It is possible. I also do not have cable. But do I want to spend everyday of my life cutting coupons, stressing about whether I can milk the next day, not being able to take Ri to the mall because we have no gas or lunch money? We are still renting and own three, pretty old, beat up cars. Am I okay with renting until she’s in school and then go to work full time? No. I am not.

I also enjoy work. I need a reason to shower in the morning. I need that push to get me out of the door a few days a week. Basically I understand stay-at-home moms. I really do. If you can afford it and that’s what you want to do then by all means do it. Your kids are only little once. But stop bashing on women because they want to work to make their children’s lives better. This isn’t 1950; most men cannot support a family on their one income. And women that work stop bashing stay-at-home moms for being lazy. I can tell you without any reservation the days I stay home with Ri I am much more tired by the end of the day than the days I actually work.



I am writer, education activist, doodler, and coffee/tea enthusiast.

One thought on “Staying Home

  1. Awww the age-old debate about staying home or working with young children. Being a working mom, with a family of mostly stay-at-home moms I understand the debate and the guilt about leaving your little ones to work. I was fortunate to be able to leave my baby with family and able to work 3 day shifts (12 hours) to have more days off. I thought once a young child was potty trained and talking it was a good time to move to a regular daycare setting to get used to other children.

    I still think babies are better off with their parents/family whenever possible, and that the fewer caregivers they have during the fast developmental changes that occur, the more routines they establish it is most like to help them with feeling secure and knowing what to expect on a daily basis. I don’t think you have to have a job to have a reason to get up and shower and time spent with young children can be scheduled with activities and learning experiences and is a job, as the many wonderful posts on this blog has encouraged. Being a mom is a job, the most important one any woman can have, it is unfortuneate reality that our economy rarely allows women to stay home.


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