Posted in Family, fun, Opinion, pop culture, Uncategorized

30 clean jokes for Dad and Joke Day!

June 17th is Father’s Day and July 1st is International Joke Day. So many good reasons for bad jokes.

Why does it seem so much easier to think of dirty, not child appropriate, jokes when put on the spot?

Image result for laughing gif

Because we’re all just wrong in the head.

However! I am here to save you with some kid friendly, but hopefully still funny, jokes and puns to share for Father’s Day & International Joke Day!

  1. Two muffins are in the oven, side by side. One muffin says, “It’s really starting to get hot in here.” The other muffin looks over says “WOW! A talking muffin!”
  2. What do you call an old snowman? Water
  3. Image result for clean jokes puns
  4. I couldn’t figure out why the basketball was getting larger. Then it hit me…
  5. I’m good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know Y.
  6. What’s the stupidest animal in the jungle? A Polar Bear
  7. “You know, it’s times like this I wish I would have listened to what my mother told me.” “Why, what did your mother tell you?” “I don’t know I wasn’t listening.”
  8. Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course, the Empire State Building can’t jump. Image result for laughing gif
  9. What did the buffalo say when his son went off to college. “Bison.”
  10. A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “hey.” The horse says, “yeah sure.”
  11. What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.
  12. What did one cell, say to his sister cell when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis
  13. Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
  14. Image result for clean jokes puns
  15. What’s brown and sticky? A stick
  16. My mom told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
  17. A friend said to me the other day, “what rhymes with orange.” I said “No, it doesn’t.”
  18. What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, he’s not going to come.
  19. What did one nut say to the other when it was playing tag? I’m a cashew.
  20. If you say “Raise Up Lights” you just said “Razor Blades” with an Australian accent.
  21. The lawyer told the judge, “my client is trapped inside a penny.” The judge asked “what?” “He’s in a cent.”
  22. Image result for clean jokes
  23. A man was washing his car with his son, when his son asked “dad, can’t we use a sponge instead?”
  24. What do you call Bears with no ears? B
  25. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
  26. Image result for clean jokes puns
  27. “My dog has no nose.” “Well how does he smell?” “Terrible.”
  28. How do you make an egg roll? You push it.
  29. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay they would be called bagels.
  30. Image result for clean jokes puns

Image result for laughing gif

Advertisements