Posted in Family, parenting, toddlers

Sleep deprived

I am so sick of reading articles about babies and children not sleeping; but at the same my kids won’t sleep so I end up reading them over and over again.

Routine?

Yes.

Teething and/or illness?

No.

Is their room in appropriate lighting?

Oh you mean the spotlight I have shinning in their faces? Totally.

Have you tried music?

Dear God, yes. And Ocean sounds. And rain sounds.

Have you tried oils?

Only like 19 of them but if you have more let me know.

Are you soothing too much?

Well, there’s two. So crying it out isn’t an option since they’re both loud enough to wake the neighbors, let alone each other.

Be stern. Tell them it’s bedtime and leave. Then come back in five minutes and blah blah blah…nothing works.

So upon my stumble I found this. Not so much advice, but at least I know it’s not just me.

Just wanted to share the article because it made me feel better, might help other parents struggling with sleep deprivation.

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Posted in Mental Health, parenting, Uncategorized

It’s Easy to Feel Alone

It’s Easy To Feel Alone 

The HIE Help Center site is a great resource for parents with children who have mental illness or delays. While they specialize in articles about HIE (hypoxic-ischemic encephalopathy), the information and coping help can be used for multiple disorders.

I had this article published in June 2018.

Posted in Education, Family, Opinion, parenting, pop culture, Social Change, teaching, Uncategorized

Kindergarten is hard

“Kindergarten is the new first grade”- everyone in education ever

Kids are growing up faster these days.

When I was in kindergarten it was a half day. We had quiet time on our mats. I remember eating graham crackers with peanut butter. Letters were learned, numbers were counted, and we went home with paint on our hands.

I don’t remember tests. I don’t remember stress. I don’t really know if I had a “desk” per say.

“Five- and 6-year-old kids now spend hours in their seats doing academic work, often with little or  no recess or physical education, or  arts, music and science.  These kids are tested ad nauseam and expected to be able to do things by the time they leave kindergarten that some, perhaps even many, are not developmentally prepared to do” (source).

Since the early 2000’s kindergarten classes have been under attack to be more and more academically focused. More reading! More math! More STEM education! We need those computer engineers knowing what they’re doing early on! (Yes I realize the photo is not a kindergartner just stay with me here)

baby-boy-child-159533

But it’s not just quantitative data from a group of disgruntled moms, dads, or teachers. It’s actually a legit change in curriculum that has been studied since the 1990’s.  “The researchers compared kindergarten and first-grade classrooms between 1998 and 2010 and found that kindergarten classes had become increasingly like first grade” (source) Its not just the lengthening of the days and the increasing intensity of the subjects, its the lack of thought about their interest stimulation and the amount of testing (TESTING!) that kindergarten involves now.

“In 2010, 73 percent of kindergartners took some kind of standardized test. One-third took tests at least once a month. In 1998, they didn’t even ask kindergarten teachers that question. But the first-grade teachers in 1998 reported giving far fewer tests than the kindergarten teachers did in 2010” (source).

This is one reason I think the whole “play equals learning” movement has been thriving so much. Montessori schools, Tinkergartens, the interest in Swedish education systems, have all risen here in the U.S. because we don’t want our kids turning into intelligent zombies. This is also why a lot of people believe the diagnosis of ADHD, ADD, and other disorders has dramatically increased. I can’t say yes or no to that one, but I do feel that this sort of learning at such a young is detrimental to what is natural for a child.

One parent said “I’m worried that my son is going to hit a point where he doesn’t like learning in school because he thinks learning is humiliation and frustration, and discouragement and anger rather than curiosity and encouragement, and fun and discovery. I think that a lot of the policymakers don’t care. They think there are kids that are disposable” (source).

Children are curious by nature. Every child wants to learn when they are young. It’s exciting, and fun if you let it be.

“We saw notable drops in teachers saying they covered science topics like dinosaurs and outer space, which kids this age find really engaging,” says Bassok, the study’s lead author” (source). 

“The percentage of teachers who reported offering music every day in kindergarten dropped by half, from 34 percent to 16 percent. Daily art dropped from 27 to 11 percent” (source).

But why is this movement towards more strict lessons and academics for such young students still gaining momentum when so many people seem to be against it?

“Much of this is tied to the belief that academic performance should be the sole measure of school and teacher effectiveness” (source). 

That. Right there. “Effectiveness”. Qualitative data. Competitions. Seeing our students succeed “better” than other countries. Better then other states. Better than the county next to us. Better. Because more academics means higher test scores, which means your class is “better”. It’s kind of a sad premise. What about people skills? What about emotional learning? What about art skills? Music ability? Physical ability? What if your child is an amazing unicycle rider, is there nothing good to say about that? I couldn’t do it. I think it’s awesome.

What about soft skills? Things that you can’t teach an adult. Things that you learn as a child. Empathy, understanding, and all that hippy dippy stuff that makes you a decent member of society. You learn those things in kindergarten.

What about the argument that this rise in a more strict curriculum of math and language arts is only due to the fact that children are entering kindergarten more school ready? That this emphasis on early education is creating children who are already able to read and write at the age of five? I say fine. That’s great if kids are grasping these concepts early because they want to. I love early literacy initiatives when they are in a fun and open environment. But the structure and the testing doesn’t need to change in order to stimulate a child’s intellect. Centers, dramatic play, art, music; all these things still play crucial roles in their development and do not hinder them reading and writing.

So I’m just going to leave this here to wrap all this up. I love this little poem so much it was even read at my wedding. Maybe one day we can get back to it but for now, this has been a huge deciding factor for me to homeschool. I know not everyone can and I’m not trying to sway you to, but just keep in mind your kids are going through more after a day of kindergarten then we ever had to.

All I Really Need To Know
I Learned In Kindergarten

by Robert Fulghum

All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten.
ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW about how to live and what to do
and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not
at the top of the graduate-school mountain, but there in the
sandpile at Sunday School. These are the things I learned:
Share everything.

Play fair.

Don’t hit people.

Put things back where you found them.

Clean up your own mess.

Don’t take things that aren’t yours.

Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.

Wash your hands before you eat.

Flush.

Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

Live a balanced life – learn some and think some
and draw and paint and sing and dance and play
and work every day some.

Take a nap every afternoon.

When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic,
hold hands, and stick together.

Be aware of wonder.
Remember the little seed in the styrofoam cup:
The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody
really knows how or why, but we are all like that.

Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even
the little seed in the Styrofoam cup – they all die.
So do we.

And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books
and the first word you learned – the biggest
word of all – LOOK.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere.
The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation.
Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.

Take any of those items and extrapolate it into
sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your
family life or your work or your government or
your world and it holds true and clear and firm.
Think what a better world it would be if
all – the whole world – had cookies and milk about
three o’clock every afternoon and then lay down with
our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments
had a basic policy to always put thing back where
they found them and to clean up their own mess.

And it is still true, no matter how old you
are – when you go out into the world, it is best
to hold hands and stick together.

Posted in Family, health, Mental Health, parenting, reading, Uncategorized

We’ll Try Tomorrow- Poetry Publication

Hi gang, I just had a poem published on mybipolarmind.com. It’s great blog for those struggling with bipolar, anxiety, depression, or other mental disorders. I had an article published awhile back “Canceling Playdates” on there, and I just love the work they do for awareness and helping those who need it.

 

We’ll Try Tomorrow Read my new poem here.

BH- we will try tomorrow

I read this article today and it really struck a chord with me as far as the whole working versus being a sahm debate goes. I’ve always, ALWAYS, said I couldn’t be a stay at home mom. And I still think that. I must have some degree of work stimulation.

However, despite where you are in that argument I think what the author writes about (the snapping more on work days, not appreciating the time you do have when you get off of work because you’re so exhausted, etc) a lot of parents will be able to relate to.

She is talking more about trying to homeschool in addition to working, but I think the ideals can be used for either. The fact that she has her PhD and still decided to stay home I think puts a lot into perspective as far as what she is saying. I don’t have a PhD but I’ve always this little selfish thing inside me that said “you can’t give up your schooling to be at home with your kids”. But why can’t I? Or at least sacrifice some of what I’ve worked for to be there for them more?

I don’t know, I’m just rambling now but it’s a good read if you are struggling with the decision like I have (well still am technically).

via Quitting Work to Homeschool

Here’s some working mom eCards to lighten the mood.workingmom1e19f27c8de05733857713993a14d2207parenting6c2f6ee121e9767f8627f88068ee55017

 

 

Quitting Work to Homeschool- Reblog

Posted in Family, Mother's Day, parenting, Uncategorized

Tangled: A love/hate story about hair

I knew something was amiss. It was too quiet.

I heard in the sweetest voice “mommy, where do you want me to put my craft scissors?”

Image result for little girl gif

Oh no.

  1. She shouldn’t even have her craft scissors
  2. She never cares or asks where I think she should put anything
  3. If she is asking it’s because she wants me to know she indeed has said scissors
  4. She wants me to know and wants to get caught because that’s a thing now

A little breadcrumb trail of blue and purple hair led from the dining room into the playroom, then up the stairs where she ran to when she heard me get up from the table.

At first that was a relief, she just cut up her doll again, no big deal. It was her troll doll and that makes me sad, but whatever.

But as I got closer to her room I saw the bundles of long blonde strands sporadically sprinkled in.

Image result for little girl gif

Sure enough, her mini bangs that had just started to finally get long enough from the last scissors incident were again mini and spiky. Her hair line now looks like an M.C. Escher painting with snips here and pieces missing there.

Every kid is going to cut their own hair. I had a bowl cut in the second grade because of playing barber shop with my cousin and failing miserably.

Image result for little girl bowl cut

(Note: This is not me, this kid is actually pulling the bowl cut off better than I did)

HOWEVER, this is the ninth or tenth time we have had this conversation. No scissors, no hair, no cutting hair, no cutting your brother’s hair, please for the love of God stop getting sharp objects. Again, this is an impulse control problem that I know we will continue to deal with.

So, we are cutting her hair. Her hair is down to her waist almost and all it does is cause us pain. She screams when it’s time to brush it, no matter how gentle and soft you are. She never keeps it up or keeps in barrettes to get her bangs out of her face. It’s a knotty mess most of the time and now I can’t get her to stop cutting it. So off it goes.

Well she was not happy with this decision to say the least.

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(Note: This is a real note from my real child on a real door)

Hair cut is happening this weekend. Hopefully we both make it through the ordeal.