Posted in Family, Mother's Day, parenting, Social Change, teaching, toddlers, Uncategorized

“Oh Fudge”…only she didn’t say fudge

oh fudge

My daughter is…spirited. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, she’s spirited to the point I sometimes wonder just how she doesn’t explode violently from all the energy flowing in such a small little body. Spirited, anxious, defiant, silly, hyper, restless, intelligent, on and on. All of these things I have known for awhile and I have always (for the most part) watched my mouth around little miss spirit because she is a parrot like no other. So, it was a great surprise when we were getting ready for school one morning and I say;

“Hey Geegee, what are you doing?”

*she’s around the corner so I can only half see her

“Putting my f*****g boots on.”

Related image

“Um, you’re what?”

“Um, putting my f*****g boots on?”

Related image

Yes, it was almost cute but it was more horrifying. Seeing that pretty little face scrunch up and say the dirtiest of dirties right to my face!

Well naturally I was totally calm and cool about it.

Image result for angry mom gif

But after, I tried to recap and figure out how to end this cycle of bad language.

To be clear- this is not the first curse word my angel has uttered nor am I that delusional that it will be the last. However, I do think there’s plenty of little tips to keep you from becoming the parent of an Italian mobster.

Ignore it

This was the first advice I was ever given. My daughter’s first word of choice is the “s” word. And she uses it correctly. If she drops something she’ll go “oh s***”. Of course I told her no the first few times, then I tried ignoring it like was recommended. However, in our case when I ignored her she just repeated it, and repeated it, and got closer to me and said it again. How can you can you just not discipline that?

I do agree however, that exploding, or going overboard over something as simple as boundary and language testing (because to me that’s all it is) is a little much and probably doing the opposite of what you want. Letting the child know, “I heard what you said, I don’t like it, and I will now be ignoring you until you apologize or find a better word to use”, has been MUCH more helpful. So now it usually goes;

“Oh s***.”

“I don’t like that language, please say something else.”

“Oh my gravy?”

“Perfect.”

Monitor Language Learned

As I mentioned in World War Mommy, I’m not all about helicopter parenting. Kids are going to hear things and see things that you wish they wouldn’t. I don’t think hiding it is the right way to go. On the same note I don’t think Game of Thrones is a family night show either (sorry GOT, love you dearly). One study I read showed that despite our efforts, “between the ages of one and two, Dr. Jay found boys knew an average of six taboo words, and girls eight.”

There’s a limit to the amount of exposure you should agree is okay. Keeping really violent and seedy things off of the tv and tablets is a great start. Listen to what your child is saying too, a lot of times I hear a certain a child’s name associated with a new choice word. I haven’t had to talk to that child’s parent or anything yet but at least I know there’s an accomplice.oh fudge 2

Encourage Clean Humor

I think majority of kids think they are funny. Not all of them are, the little dears, but they try. A lot of language play is an attempt at humor to make you laugh and pay attention to them. Instead of blowing up over a dirty word, encourage some clean jokes. “Guess what, chicken butt” is one in particular I hear daily.

Anger vs Angry

My daughter struggles with her anger, as do a lot of young children. It’s an intense emotion for anyone. We are learning that it’s okay to be angry, it’s not okay to release anger. The difference being how you actually respond to those emotions.

We are now learning how to walk away from an anger evoking situation. When I tell her we can’t watch something because it’s too late or we can’t go outside I’m about to feed her brother, she is learning to walk away (usually to her room or playroom) and start to read or do something to take her mind off of it. After having a small fit of course. The fit is good though as long as she’s releasing her frustration safely.

Learning how to verbally express feelings will diminish the need for foul language in an aggressive way.

Check Yo Self

Don’t curse in front of your kids! I figured that’s a given but after some of the instances I’ve seen, it’s definitely not. I’m not going to say it hasn’t slipped out, it’s just bound to happen at some point. If your child calls you out on it (I think most will) then scorn yourself, don’t give them the old ‘I’m the grown up I’m allowed’ routine. Kids are smarter than that.

I have had to fess up and say “you are right, mommy should not have said that. What I should have said is “why is this lovely gentleman in front of us on the highway going so slow, I’m sure he has good reason”.”

Image result for ending bad language child

Advertisements
Posted in Family, health, Opinion, parenting, Uncategorized

How life changes per kid…

I received an email asking to do an article on family life in regards to number of kids within that family. Kind of like a 0,1,2,3 thing. I thought it could be kind of interesting to dig into.

Image result for no children

0

For some, the idea of having babies is something that they have dreamed about since they were still in diapers. They lugged their dolls around the house, carrying them by their feet, from one room to the next; getting them dressed, feeding them, putting them to bed, the whole nine yards.

For others, not so much. Not everyone wants kids. An article in The Guardian claimed that “Once pregnancy is over, you’ve got a small human that you’re responsible for 24/7, for nearly 2 decades. Many are overjoyed by this prospect, which is great, but that doesn’t mean everyone is.” This was a follow up to the argument that women who do not want children are somewhat shunned because we’re inherently supposed to want to procreate. I agree with the author Dean Burnett on that point. Then of course there are those who simply cannot have children. Because of this, please do not question young women about why they don’t have children. It makes me cringe when I hear it, and yes I hear it.

 

Related image

1

One, is the loneliest number…

People with one kid get the best of both worlds and the worst, all at the same time. I think there is still a stigma that once you have one you’re supposed to want more.

Speaking as an only child, there are perks and there are downsides. I had my own room, but I was scared of the dark. I had my own clothes and toys, but I did have to play alone a lot. Luckily, I had a lot of cousins nearby to play with and lived in a community where friends were in walking distance, so that helped some.

No need to get a new car, even your sexy two door can probably hold at least one car seat. No need to worry about bath time, with only one kid, only one bath, no shared water/toys/wash clothes.

Traveling with 1 kid is a whole different ball game than having multiples. Traveling with any amount of kids can be stressful but when you only have the one to pack for, look for, prepare for, and pay for, it’s much easier.

Nap time is actually quiet time. There’s no other noise going on once your one little angel goes down for a nap. Same thing when they are old enough for school, or sleepovers, or summer camps, whatever; when that one child is quiet, the whole house is quiet.

Make sure you have a strong marriage/partnership before having this baby. 1 may lead to others, but not if you can’t make it past 1. That sounds a bit harsh probably but the stress of an added person (not to mention an extremely needy, cranky, always loud person) is something that even good marriages will suffer from.

“Only children are supposed to be spoiled, selfish and lonely. In fact they’re just fine — and on the rise, as more parents choose against having multiple children”

The quote above is from a TIME Magazine article published back in 2010. After the big recession in 2008, people had to stop and think more economically about having kids. It wasn’t just that kids costs more per say, people were making less, and many still are.

Image may contain: 2 people, people smiling, christmas tree, baby, eyeglasses and treeImage may contain: 1 person, baby and closeup

2

Two children, two parents= seems like an easy way to live. Eh…easy isn’t the word I would choose in that scenario but we’ll go with it. 2.5 is the average amount of children that American families are having now. Going from 1 to 2 is much easier than going from 0 to 1. So there’s that at least.

Time is divided now. It’s not just you and your spouse time, then you and your one and only child time. It’s you, your spouse, child #1, and child #2. They will both have separate needs, wants, and ways of communicating with you. Depending on how far apart in age they are, your first might just be talking when you realize the second is on their way. You may just be getting the glorious feeling of more than 4 hours of sleep when you’re suddenly up again every hour peeing in the night. And pregnant while chasing around a toddler? Not the same as the first time, by any means.

What about twins? Yes there’s two of them, but does that count? It’s one pregnancy, one birth. No age gap. Yes they count as 2, I’m just adding to the arguments I’ve already seen and I think it’s a silly one.

There are general concerns for a lot of mothers though that go from 1 to 2. Will I love them the same? How can I ever love anyone as much as my first? How can I even begin to explain to my first that there’s another baby? What if he/she isn’t happy about it?

I will say, I had some of these pretty common concerns myself. They are not founded in any real life. You won’t love them the same, that’s impossible. You will love them equally but in different ways. It’s hard describe but once you have a second child, everything is different. You also get a newfound love for your first watching them grow into a big brother/sister. It is something magical to watch.

Image result for three children

3

If you Google, number of children you should have, two of the first options that arise are “Why three is the magic number of children for happiness” followed by “why three makes for the most unhappy families”. So, I think there’s some debate on this one?

To quote another article “Why three really is the magic number”:

 “A third child feels like an indulgence; ‘more than the world needs’.”

Ouch.

Irregardless if it’s indulgent or not, the idea that going from 2 to 3 is a hard one to make. Harder, I think than going from 1 to 2. Once you get past 2 kids the car situation gets harder, going to the store becomes even more challenging, and dividing up your time among each kid takes on whole new struggles.

One mom commented to me that going from 2 to 3 took much more time managment than she had expected. “I didn’t think it was going to be so time consuming getting out the door.” For those with 2 thinking, ugh I already struggle with that now, might be something to consider.

This isn’t uncommon either, a survey of over 7,000 moms (which has been quoted in a few different articles) claimed that mothers of 3 children were the most stressed. More than 1, 2, 4, or even 5. Why? Something about the unevenness of 3 children? The going from a kid in each hand to one kid having to be the third wheel? Maybe…

One plus to the third is allowing the baby of the family now to become a big brother/sister (yes I understand this can’t just keep going until there’s an endless chain of babies). Let’s be honest, when you have 2 kids the younger one is babied. By you, and your older child. This will happen to the third one as well but at least it might help toughen up that 2 one a little. Then there’s the dreaded “middle child” syndrome. My own mother will attest that this a real life phenomenon but is it enough to detour you?

A family of 5 is something to be desired however, for those who don’t want a “big” family, but want larger than average family. The chaos that is life as a family of 5 is appealing for many reasons. The holidays, family dinners, the siblings have more options for playmates. Hopefully they’ll like at least one of them.

3 is also the stepping stone to 4, which it seems some women think that is the best number.

Image result for four children

4

Wait, who’s crying? Is it the baby? No not that baby, the baby-baby. The littlest one? No, she’s sleeping, somehow. Is it the toddler? The older two fighting? What is all the noise and where is it coming from!

A quote that stuck out to me from an article in The Express “Three is the “storm” before the “calm” of four. These kind of statistics made me wary of having a third child, resulting in an age gap of seven and nine years between my third and her older brothers.”

After 3, I mean hell, what’s one more right? You have all the stuff you need, you SHOULD have at least both genders at this point (if not, I do know some, I pray for you). Having 4 children also makes you lighten up some. “Every busy home will have many moments of stress when plans for apart, homework gets lost (or stolen… yes, would you believe there are “strangers” who love to steal math homework?!) and everything descends into chaos. Adding a big dollop of humor to such occasions can diffuse tension like a magic wand and make all the difference in the world, particularly on those days when the kids want to strangle each other, or you want to strangle them.”

I like this quote from a blog called Mom.me “Four is easier because the kids can pair off. Especially when you have two of each. With three there is one left out. Also when it was three the baby got treated more like a baby for some reason.”

Image result for brady bunch

More than 4!!

So you want more than 4 children…Do you not like things? Do you not enjoy sleep? Do you never want to be alone, ever in your entire life?

No? Oh, well then by all means have more than 4 kids. I’m being extreme obviously, but people on the outside look at families with 5, 6, 7 plus kids and think, “why?”

Well there’s a lot of good reasons. For one, your children always have someone to talk to, even if you aren’t available. Siblings in large families tend to be closer. You would think it would be the opposite but having to share everything with each other does tend to make you closer whether you like it or not. “It also keeps you from spoiling your children. Certainly there are children from small families who are not spoiled, but spoiling children in large families is nearly impossible. I simply can’t (and won’t) buy identical high-end expensive toys and gadgets for my kids.”

The idea of boredom in a house with 5 or more kids is probably not one that comes around often. It’s easy to see why an only child may struggle with trying to entertain themselves, but 1 of 5 can probably find something to get into with one of their siblings. Not to mention there’s always chores to do! And let’s be honest, with 5 kids all pitching in, even though they make a mess, they should be able to clean it up. There is also little helpers when it comes to taking care of the younger siblings. Most large families require the older siblings to step up and help their parents out. Good life building skills.

How do you get anywhere? Well, I guess that depends on who is coming. RV? Two mini vans? Another downside that was brought to my attention is the complete lack of privacy. Yes you have the safety of numbers but you also have a hard time finding a quiet place to be alone.

I’ve also seen mentioned in quite a few different articles about having a large family is that the parents are less prone to end up in a nursing home. At least they hope so.

But how can you afford it? Um hand-me-downs. Your kids may end up wearing things a little too big or a little small but that’s the way it goes with large families.

 

Posted in Family, Opinion, parenting, teen, toddlers, Uncategorized

When I just don’t want to play

 

 

Image result for child growing up

 

I get bored with playing. There, I said it. It’s hard, even as a blogger of parenting articles and other family related activities, to always express my personal life for public use. However, in order to write honestly, I think I have to.

Sometimes, I don’t want to play pretend. I want to just read and tune out. I don’t want to color or play play-dough. It’s too hot for playing tag and too cold to splash in puddles. Sometimes, I don’t want be completely immersed in another person. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to ask the same question over and over, or give the same answer over and over.  Sometimes, I want to do nothing.

Sometimes, I just don’t want to do these things. But I do them, even if halfheartedly on the rougher days. Coming home from work and transitioning into mom mode isn’t always easy. But I do it.

Because I know there will be a day when I go to start playing and my daughter will say no. That she doesn’t want to play pretend. She just wants to read and tune out. She doesn’t want to color or play play-dough. She’ll say she’s too old to play tag and too mature to splash in puddles. She doesn’t want to be completely immersed in another person. She doesn’t want to talk. She doesn’t want to answer the same question over and over, or give the same answer over and over. She just wants to do nothing.

Mostly, she just won’t need me to do these things like she does now. So I won’t.

That’s what I remember when I have to play house, or school, or doctor, or any of the games that are on constant repeat in our playroom. I try to smile, push through, and ask her “okay, what do you want to play now?”

Image result for mother and daughter playingImage result for mother and daughter playing

 

Posted in Education, history, Library, pop culture, Uncategorized

Black Cats & the Black Death

Another interesting historical tidbit that will hopefully inspire the desire to learn more. I received a lot of positive feedback about the Mad Hatter post so I thought I would hurry up and do another one.

cats

I am an animal person. Being a librarian, I kind of have to be a cat person. It’s a prerequisite to get into a Library Science program. So, from my research and gatherings of cat history over the years I have learned that cats became domesticated sometime around 7000 B.C. in the Middle East. Wild cats are found all over the world except in polar regions. They aren’t natives to Australia but were introduced by Europeans and are now considered a huge pest. The Australian war on cats is a whole separate post topic to be honest.

Cats were worshiped in many cultures, and even mummified in ancient Egypt. In Africa, Asia, and even in most Germanic tribes, cats were kept as pets to help ward off vermin and for companionship.

They weren’t completely without contempt however; the saber tooth tiger, and other largecats2 cats, created a fear of “man eating cats”. Which, back then, may not have been false. The Celts had legends of shape-shifting cats. Cat Sidhe or Cait Sidhe, could transform into a witch. They could also steal the souls of the dead before they could reach salvation. So, not a pretty picture of them there.

After Pope Gregory IX came to power in 1227, he was considered well liked for the most part, at least in the beginning. He was fierce in his beliefs and started to do some questionable things to cats3defend them. In the 1230s he called Vox in Rama, which expressed that black cats were part of satanic cults and represented Satan. Yes, thee Satan.

At the time, many “witches” and even a few “wizards” had been burnt at the stake for suspicion of witchcraft. Decades of cat killing began.

The Middle Ages, which is about 470-1450 A.D., was rampant with witchcraft accusations and the murder of hundreds of men, women, and children. Women were the most susceptible to the crime and along with them were their cats. More precisely, black cats.

So became of this decree? In 1346 trade ships anchored in Sicily. The ships had just returned from a voyage to Kaffa, which is present day Ethiopia, and were filled with items from Asia. Sailors aboard started to have these large, black, boils erupt on their skin. They were painful and covered their bodies, along with high fevers and (unbeknownst to them) internal bleeding. The pain only lasted a few days however, since most of them died quickly. These were the first European victims of the bubonic plague, or the Black Death.

The plague was spread from a bacteria that lived in the bloodstream of rats. Fleas would bite the rats then spread it to humans. Or, if a rat just bite a human they could bypass the flea altogether. Without as many cats roaming the streets and killing off wild vermin (rats for instance), the rodent population skyrocketed. It took about five days for an infected person to show any signs. Most infected people did not know they were sick. That means they were walking around, talking others, and infecting others unknowingly.

Illustration of Victims of Bubonic Plague from the Toggenberg Bible
Painting shows a scene of people suffering from the bubonic plague in the 15th century from the Toggenberg Bible. — Image by © Bettmann/CORBIS

The bubonic plague was one of the worst epidemics this planet has ever had. It killed thirty percent of Europe’s population with its peak years being 1347-1351. This is estimated to be twenty-five to thirty-five million people. The crowded cities of Europe were great breeding grounds for the plague to spread. With no cats around, and no way for people to know at the time that’s how the disease spread, it seemed unstoppable.

The only logical explanation that could be thought of at the time was that the plague was punishment from God for all of mankind’s wrongdoings. First the Jews were persecuted for bringing the plague to kill off the Christians. Because it only makes sense that they would start a disease that also killed millions of Jews. They were expelled from parts of Europe and even killed from this accusation. Pope Clement VI thankfully used common sense and put an end to that. So the next logical explanation were the Gypsies, the Turks, and of course; witches.

cats5With the fear of new outbreaks of the plague, witch hunts ensued for decades after. The most murderous years took place during 1500’s to the 1650’s. The plague did have several small outbreaks arise, which only furthered the ideals of paranoia among the general public and the substantial need to continue these witch hunts.

 

 

Finding a total number of people killed for suspicion of witchcraft in Europe is almost impossible. Many of the court records are long gone, many of the convictions were not documented anywhere at all. The Witch-Hunt in Early Modern Europe by Brian P. Levack estimates the total is under 90,000. Depending on where in Europe someone was accused may have meant the difference of life and death. In some areas only 10-15% of the accused were put to death, while in others, like Switzerland, 90% of the accused were put to death.

So how were witches spotted? Basically if you were a single woman over the average marrying age you were probably a witch. If your neighbor didn’t like you, you were probably a witch. If you were succeeding at life, you were probably a witch. If you owned a cat, petted a cat, fed a cat, or just looked too long at a cat; witch. People would claim that black cats would sneak into their homes at night and turned into a witch (someone in their community) to harm them. Many people did confess to this but most were under some sort of physical torture or knew it was coming.

 

 

 

Today, there is still a depleted population of black cats throughout Europe. More visible though, is our association with black cats and witches. Around Halloween you can see dozens of decorations of black cats in witches hats and witches petting a black cat.

Posted in Education, Family, Opinion, parenting, teen, Uncategorized

Repost: Maryland Title 1 Funding=No sense

The Baltimore Sun posted an article about the allocation of funds for Title 1 schools in the coming school year. Somehow, the poorest counties in the state got overlooked. Majority of the money is going to Montgomery county, which has some of the wealthiest areas.

“The answer [to this phenomenon] lies in a complicated and outdated formula that’s used to distribute the Title I money – a formula that’s resulted in a series of significant funding discrepancies that can shortchange school districts with high concentrations of poverty, and benefit larger districts and big urban areas instead of poorer, rural districts and small cities.”

I can’t help but mention when you read the article, that I think being in the Baltimore Sun made them a little biased. Somerset County is actually the poorest county in the state and would be able to do a great deal of good with some of those reallocated funds.

 

 

An article in the Baltimore Sun compares funding from the federal education program, Title 1, finding differences between per-student funding from county-to-county in Maryland while an article in US News and World Report looks at the trend nationwide. As reported by the Baltimore Sun, Anne Arundel, Baltimore, Montgomery and Prince George’s counties all have poverty rates […]

via Articles Compare Title 1 Allocations Throughout Maryland, US — Conduit Street

Posted in Education, history, Library, literature, pop culture, teaching, Uncategorized

Mad as a Hatter

Occasionally, I do research things other than crafts and educational activities. History is a subject, like I mentioned in the Teaching Teens Tolerance post, that is sugar coated and glazed over a lot in my opinion. I am going to try to post interesting historical tidbits now and then to better help bring history to life and in turn (hopefully) inspire you and your kids to want to learn more. This post is rated PG-13.

With the release of the new Alice in Wonderland movie (which I heard has mixed reviews, I personally haven’t seen it yet) I decided to put up a post about Mad Hatter Disease, which is still a term used today for mercury poisoning. 

 

The felt hat industry started in the 1600’s namely in France, and migrated to England in the early 1800’s. Basically, it was found that a mercury complex made the process of turning fur into felt much easier. In turn, hatters would be breathing in these chemicals. During this time, workshops were not monitored or kept to any sort of standards so most were poorly ventilated.

Most people know by now that hat-makers were known to be mad because of the mercury in the felt. The story of how this came to be is kind of gross but in a nutshell, hatters were using urine to process fur into felt prior to mercury. One hatter, who was being treated for syphilis with mercury, seemed to have the best felt product. People started to see the connection and used mercury instead. The validity of this account isn’t one I would bank on but I have seen it mentioned more than once.

Once mercury starts to accrue in someone’s system the following things can (and did) happen:

  • “Hatter’s shakes” (trembling)
  • Tooth decay and loss
  • Excess drooling
  • Coordination problems
  • Irritability and depression
  • Anxiety and nervousness
  • Hallucinations and paranoia
  • Antisocial behavior or extreme aggression

 

Mercury poisoning is not a thing of the past. Mercury can still be found in things like:

  • Fish such as tuna, shark, and salmon (also why pregnant women are advised to not eat these in excess)
  • Pesticides
  • Some cosmetics
  • Adhesives
  • Air conditioner filters
  • Dental fillings called “silver fillings”

 

Obviously, the Mad Hatter from Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland is probably the most famous of all the hatters who have lived. However, there are others who made an impression on our history who you may not be aware of.

For instance, Boston (Thomas) Corbett. Boston Corbett grew up in New York after his family emigrated there when he was seven in 1839. He became a hatter and soon after was married. Tragically his wife died in childbirth, as did their infant. He became severely depressed and moved to Boston. As the tale goes, he was drunk one night walking the streets and heard a preacher. That experience apparently turned him into a religious fanatic and he grew out his hair and beard to look more like Jesus. Even more strange (and painful) was the fact that he castrated himself in order to not have any feelings of lust (with a pair of scissors I might add).

Once the Civil War erupted he did end up joining the Union Army. His high morals seemed to get him into trouble during his training and first attempts to serve. When his commanding officers would swear, Corbett would step forward to protest, which as you can imagine did not go well.

What Corbett is famous for however, is not his eccentric behavior, but for being the man who killed John Wilkes Booth. As detective Everton Conger tried to smoke Booth out of a barn by setting it on fire, Corbett crept up to an opening in the barn door and shot him in the neck.
Theophilus Carter, was an eccentric furniture maker and inventor, who always wore a top hat. He displayed his invention the Alarm Clock Bed at the Great Exhibition in Hyde Park in 1851. The bed was supposed to tip the sleeper out of their at the set time. Carter is believed to be the inspiration behind Lewis Carroll’s Mad Hatter.

 

 

Some reading recommendations for those interested in Mad Hatters:

 

Posted in Education, Family, literature, Opinion, parenting, Social Change, teaching, teen

Teaching Teens Tolerance

In light of recent events, I thought it was fitting to do a post about teaching tolerance of others to teens. I honestly am not a fan of the word “tolerance” since it has the connotation of just “putting-up with” or merely “tolerating” those who are different from you. I instead like to think that teens can be understanding and accepting of others. I think they can actually enjoy the differences, imagine that. We as a society have obviously messed something up somewhere but this cycle of hate doesn’t have to continue.

In a lot of ways young adults today seem to have more experience with different races, religions, and sexual orientations than past generations. Classrooms are becoming more diverse and even the media is breaking down a lot of diversity stereotypes (on the other hand however, they are making some worse). Most parents welcome this, as they should, while others seem less enthused.

One way to promote understanding is to make all students aware of the truth. This means teaching them history accurately. Not the watered down, Disney esque, version that is taught in most politically run schools today. I mean the real history of the world. All the nitty gritty details of it. The book Lies My Teacher Told Me is one of my absolute favorites. A tough read for teens but as a parent, who is educating your child, I suggest you give a read through.

I have to mention, that I believe you should try to be unbiased as possible when teaching history to your children. It’s very easy to sway historical events to be the fault of this group or that because you personally feel that way. Stick to the facts. Come to the understanding that no group has clean hands when it comes to history. I will be posting a history cheat sheet for anyone who needs a little help to better explain some complicated historical events, like the Crusades.

We can just talk about the elephant in the blog and mention Islam education. Their religion is a complex one and it is important for our teens to understand it. It would appear that tensions in the Middle East and tensions with the U.S. are not going to subside anytime soon thanks to the control that ISIS has acquired. I think teens should have a general understanding of all world religions in order to be able to make better assumptions and judgements of current world issues.

Tolerance isn’t something that needs to even be as vast as world religions and politics. Teaching teens to be tolerant of other students and members of the community is a great place to start. Most teens I have encountered understand to respect others who are handicapped or impaired in anyway. Some will still find an opportunity to mock the other’s pain but for the most part I feel that young people are generally good natured in that way. However, I think it’s much easier for teens to make fun of, or belittle, those with less visible ailments. For instance, a student who is suffering from Asperger’s may be a target because they do not understand the same social cues as everyone else. Their impairment is not a visible one making it easier for teens to target someone with a social problem.

I think a great way for parents to explain this to a teen if they talk about a student who maybe isn’t the best at socializing (or who is extremely solitary or who takes too long to answer questions in class) is to explain they think and process information differently than your teen does. This doesn’t mean they are any better or worse than your teen. In fact, the student struggling may have skills your teen does not. For instance, they may be very artistic or know more about a particular subject that your teen struggles with. Making light of their talents instead of their social inequalities is a good way to see them as equals for your teen.

Getting out to volunteer is another way to teach tolerance. Places like homeless shelters, nursing homes, other schools, libraries, and other community outlets will introduce them to people they may have not encountered otherwise. Seeing the less fortunate can do the same. There are many inspiring stories out there about young people starting fundraisers and doing great acts for those who need it. There’s an organization called Teen Line where teens volunteer to speak or text with other teens who may be in crisis or just need someone to talk to.

Never discourage your teen’s (or younger child’s) curiosity of those around you. Sometimes you may be asked something that you think is rude, or racist, or unacceptable; however, if they are generally unsure about something you need to be able to answer them honestly and respectfully. Steer them towards the appropiate response and reactions to the world around them.

The biggest and best way to teach tolerance to your teens? Be tolerant yourself. I know, this is groundbreaking stuff. But if you are accepting and helpful to others they will see that and emulate you. Remember that they are listening, all the time. So be wary of using hateful slang and furthering any sort of stereotypical ideology that you may have grown up with yourself.

 

 

Some reading recommendations for teaching diversity to teens:

 

 

“Chronicles the contemporary adolescence of one Native American boy as he attempts to break away from the life he was destined to live.”

 

 

“Cinder, a gifted mechanic, is a cyborg. She’s a second-class citizen with a mysterious past, reviled by her stepmother and blamed for her stepsister’s illness.”

 

 

“My name is August. I won’t describe what I look like. Whatever you’re thinking, it’s probably worse.”

 

 

 

“Tragedy forces Esperanza and Mama to flee to California during the Great Depression, and to settle in a camp for Mexican farm workers. Esperanza isn’t ready for the hard labor, financial struggles, or lack of acceptance she now faces.”

 

 

 

 

“A gripping and intensely touching debut middle grade novel by Kerry O’Malley Cerra, Just a Drop of Water brings the events of September 11, which shook the world, into the lens of a young boy who is desperately trying to understand the ramifications of this life-altering event.”

 

 

“The world is too busy crumbling to pieces to pay attention to a 17-year-old girl.”